1、明骚易躲，暗贱难防。
Ming Sao is easy to hide, dark base to prevent.
2、光阴似面，日月如锅。
Time is like a pot.
3、本人已死，有事烧纸。
I am dead, something burning.
4、距离产生的不是美，是**。
Distance is not the United States, is small three.
5、拍死的是蚊子，流血的是老子！
It's a mosquito that's dead. It's the father!
6、傻B中的战斗机，贱人中的VIP。
Silly B fighter, Bitch in VIP.
7、我们走得太快，灵魂都跟不上了。
We go too fast, the soul can't keep up.
8、真希望是2月29开学，四年开一次！
I really hope that the 29 school in February, four years to open!
9、活鱼会逆流而上，死鱼则随波逐流。
The fish will swim upstream, dead fish.
10、曾经的海枯石烂，抵不过好聚好散。
Once the end of the world, is still good.
11、装要装的有内涵，骚要骚的有味道。
Installed to have the connotation of the show to show the taste of the show.
12、文能看书挤地铁，武能挤地铁看书。
Text can read the subway, Wu can squeeze the subway reading.
13、人是铁，饭是钢，骨头里面没有汤。
Man is iron, rice is steel, there is no soup in the bones.
14、说好一起到白头，你却偷偷焗了油。
Agreed to go to white, you secretly baked oil.
15、天涯何处无牛粪，何必单恋一坨屎。
Where there is no cow dung, why love a shit.
16、有时候，你不知道自己的话有多伤人。
Sometimes, you don't know how much you hurt yourself.
17、自从得了神经病，整个人都精神多了。
Since I got a mental illness, the whole people are more spiritual.
18、我恨秦始皇，他烧书，居然没有烧完。
I hate Qin Shihuang, he burned the book, actually did not burn.
19、开心了就笑，不开心了就过会儿再笑。
Happy to laugh, not happy to laugh at a later time.
20、烂人一定是贱人，贱人不一定是烂人。
Bad people must be Bitch, Bitch is not necessarily bad people.
21、我未来的儿子，快告诉我你爹的方向。
My future son, tell me about your father.
22、我不是骨头，不能让每条狗都追着跑。
I'm not a bone, can't let every dog run after.
23、智力测验就是要看倒底笨到了什么程度。
Intelligence test is to see the bottom stupid to what extent.
24、微信就是牛逼，硬是把手机搞成对讲机。
The micro channel is regressed, forced the mobile phone into the intercom.
25、老衲曾经回眸一笑，迷得师太神魂颠倒。
I have lost all entranced with a smile.
26、现实的社会，毁了我一个做好人的机会。
The reality of the society, ruined me a good opportunity to do.
27、失掉你我已不会做人，如何还留力爱人。
I will not be a man without you, how can I leave a lover.
28、别老说自己没事儿，没事儿不是事儿啊。
Don't say that you have nothing to say.
29、人总要犯错误的，否则正确之路人满为患。
People always make mistakes, otherwise the correct way to overcrowding.
30、告别手淫，寻找爱情。锻炼JJ，天天享受。
Farewell to masturbation, looking for love. Exercise JJ, enjoy every day.
31、您别看我长得像没头脑，其实我是不高兴。
You don't look like I'm not mind, but I'm not happy.
32、我真的狠单纯，一天到晚都想着怎么害人。
I really very simple, all day thinking about how to harm.
33、现在物价上涨的世界，某些人却越来越贱。
Now the world, some people are getting more and more cheap.
34、世上最痛苦的三角恋：我爱食物，脂肪爱我。
The most painful love in the world: I love food, love me.
35、恐慌自己失去所有人，留下一个人孤独老死。
All the people lost their panic, left alone.
36、我用生命去写文章，后人却用它来布置作业。
I use my life to write the article, but I use it to decorate the job.
37、你的脸让我想到了一个词语，它叫随心所欲。
Your face makes me think of a word, it's a way to do it.
38、黑丝泛滥的季节，让我们这些粗腿情何以堪？
Black silk flooding of the season, so that we have these thick legs, why?
39、所谓放假，家里遭嫌，出门没钱，每天特闲。
The so-called holiday, the home is suspected, go out no money, special day.
40、粉红灯光，卿卿我我，拉拉扯扯，见不得人。
Light pink, Qingqingwowo, lalacheche, shady.
41、不要在青葱的岁月里一味地装蒜，那样不好。
Don't come in the green years, it is not good.
42、严重抗意凤凰卫视在播放广告时插播电视剧！
Serious against Italy Phoenix TV broadcast advertising spots in television series!
43、大叔，笑的时候记得捂嘴巴哦，小心您的假牙。
Uncle, laugh when I remember Wu mouth Oh, be careful of your teeth.
44、你有什么不开心的事？说出来让大家开心一下。
Do you have any unhappy things? Say it to let everyone happy.
45、你一辈子也别给我承诺，我怕我怕你被雷劈死。
You don't give me a lifetime commitment, I'm afraid I'm afraid you are a ray of death.
46、嫦娥，你就从了天蓬吧，你看玉帝都老成啥样了！
The goddess of the moon, you from the canopy, you see what the emperor are old!
47、人，生在床上，死在床上，欲生欲死，也在床上。
Man, who was born on the bed, died on the bed, for the desire to die, also on the bed.
48、假设命运运限折断了你的腿，他会教你如何跛行。
If fate broke your leg, he will teach you how to limp.
49、贱也是一种艺术，让我们一起将这门艺术搞好吧！
Base is also an art, let us together this art to do a good job!
50、没有嫁不到男人的女人，只有娶不到女人的男人。
A woman without a man's woman, but a man who can't marry a woman.
51、猛的一看你不怎么样，仔细一看还不如猛的一看。
A fierce look at you not how, a closer look at it is not as fierce as a look.
52、就算老师讲的是个毛线球，学霸也能把它织成毛衣！
Even if the teacher said is a Mao Xianqiu, learning tyrants also can weave it into a sweater!
53、所谓敌人，不过是那些迫使我们自己变得强大的人。
The so-called enemy, however, is the one that forces us to become stronger.
54、时间对了，地点对了，感情对了，却发现人物不对。
Time is right, the place is right, the feeling is right, but it is not right.
55、你跟谁整那表情呢，我欠你贷款要到期了还是咋的。
Who are you to be with, I owe you a loan or a good one.
56、工资就像大姨妈，不来的时候担心，来的时候操心。
Wages are like big aunt, not to worry about, to the time to worry about.
57、作为一个怪兽，我的愿望是至少消灭掉一个奥特曼！
As a monster, my wish is to destroy at least one Altman!
58、牛肉面里没牛肉不要抱怨，老婆饼里不也没有老婆么？
Beef noodles, beef noodles, do not complain, the wife of the cake, there is no wife?
59、我床上的不知道是谁媳妇，我媳妇不知道在谁的床上！
I do not know who is on the bed, my wife does not know who the bed!
60、叹气是最浪费时间的事情，哭泣是最浪费力气的行径。
Sigh is a waste of time, crying is a waste of effort acts.
61、怎么能说你脑子进水了呢？前提是，你也要有脑子啊。
How can you say that you are in the water? The premise is, you have to have a mind.
62、不要说别人脑子有病，脑子有病的前提是必须有个脑子。
Do not say that other people's brains are sick, the brain has a disease must have a mind.
63、人生总有许多巧合，两条平行线也可能会有交汇的一天。
Life always has a lot of coincidence, the two parallel lines may also have a meeting of the day.
64、幸福就是每天早晨醒来一看表，竟然还能再睡半个小时。
Happiness is to wake up every morning to see the table, even can sleep half an hour.
65、今天第一次决定为了减肥节食，就被一根鸡腿给打破了。
The first time today decided to go on a diet to lose weight, it was a broken leg.
66、生活就像拉屎，有时候你很努力，出来的也不过是个屁。
Life is like a piece of shit, sometimes you are very hard, but also it is a fart.
67、有钱的人怕别人知道他有钱，没钱的人怕别人知道他没钱。
Rich people are afraid of others know that he is rich, no money, people afraid of others know that he did not have the money.
68、过去一直喜欢她的胸怀宽广，其实那也无非是一片飞机场！
In the past always like her mind is broad, in fact, it is nothing more than an airport!
69、你解释就是掩饰，掩饰的就是事实，事实就是罪恶的开始。
Your explanation is the fact that the truth is the beginning of sin.
70、跟你很熟吗？没事弹个视频，你当是你家电视啊，一按就出人。
Do you know well? It's OK to play a video, you're your home TV, one by one.
71、留不住的东西就用力把它往远得扔，没准撞到什么就弹回来了。
Can't keep the things that you can't keep, and you can't just throw it away.
72、你这货，太让我费心了，有娘养没娘教育的，就教你怎么捅咕人了。
Your goods, so I have no trouble, son of a bitch mother education, teach you how to touch people.
73、前男友发信息让我去参加他的婚礼，我淡定的回了三个字：下次去。
The former boyfriend sends information to let me go to his wedding, I calm the back three words: next time.
74、我以前很瘦未来也很瘦所以我现在要胖一段时间，不然人生不圆满。
I used to be thin and the future is very thin so I'm going to put on some weight now, or I'm not going to be successful.
75、校长，这空调，你若安好，便是晴天；若安不好，晚上出门注意点！
Principal, this air conditioning, if you are well, it is sunny; if you are not good, go out at night to pay attention!
76、我买了一个一英寸的显示器，这样可以使我的错误看起来要小一些！
I bought an inch of monitor, which would make my mistakes look smaller!
77、非诚勿扰女嘉宾再牛也就灭一个男的的灯，宿舍楼下阿姨能灭一整楼的。
If you are the one female guests and then cattle will be a man of the lamp, the dormitory downstairs aunt can destroy a whole building.
78、什么叫多余？夏天的棉袄，冬天的蒲扇，还有等我已经心冷后你的殷勤。
What is redundant? Summer cotton padded jacket, winter stalk, and hospitality I have your heart cold.
79、现如今有钱的不如有权的，有权的不如有枪的，有枪的不如拿斧头镰刀的！
It is better to have the right to have the money than to have the gun, and the less the axe!
80、某女在博客日记写：某月某日，大醉而归，伸手一摸，手机和贞操都在，睡觉！
A woman in the blog wrote: one day a month, Dazui, touched, mobile phone and chastity in bed!
81、未成年做成年的事，订婚时做分手的事，刚恋爱做结婚的事，结婚时做再婚的事。
Adult things, engaged in the matter of breaking up, just in love to do the marriage, marriage, do the thing to do.